Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Kat Borchart
Signing up for a race is half the battle. The other half is surviving it. Anyone who has completed a 5K, 10K, 15K, half, or full marathon can relate to this.
Related: The 19 Emotional Stages of Your First Run (in GIFs)
- I should sign up for a race. All those people look so happy and empowered! I want to be happy and empowered!
- OK, time to register. Eighty dollars?! You have to pay to run!? This better be good.
- It's gonna be good. I'll be so healthy and inspired. Image Source: ABC
- Alright, race day is tomorrow, I better carbo load. I think that means I can have pasta AND pizza. That's what runners do, right?
- Oh my gosh I love carbs. I should sign up for more races!
- Gosh, I have to get up early. Why do these things start so early? Are all runners morning people? Are they like a secret society of superhumans who get up early and exercise?
- What do I even eat for breakfast? Is yogurt OK? HOW DO I DO THIS?
- Oh crap, I'm gonna be late. Maybe I shouldn't go . . .
- Wait, I have to go, I paid $80. I'm going. My friends are waiting for me.
- Maybe I should tell them I'm sick. I suddenly got running pneumonia, a rare strain that only acts up when you run.
- UGH OK FINE I'M OUT THE DOOR.
- Wow, there are so many people at this race. Everyone has some kind of vintage race shirt on, is everyone here a superathlete? There's so much Lululemon here.
- OMG it's starting. OK. Pace yourself. Here goes nothing. Image Source: Giphy
- How many miles are left? Still 13? OK. It's OK. I can do this.
- Wait . . . are these little kids here just to cheer me on? OMG THEY HAVE WATER. Yes. I love water. I need that.
- These people aren't actually racing, right? Like, for first place? Nah . . .
- Wait, what if there is a first place and people are actually trying to win?
- Oh my gosh am I going to be in LAST PLACE? Image Source: Universal
- Is there a reward for winning?
- Well, that's not happening for me today or ever, so whatever.
- I'm so surprised I don't have to pee yet. Am I sweating out my fluids? Ew.
- OK, there's no way I can finish this. How do I pretend I finished so I can post a good Instagram?
- Wait where are the water kids? Are they coming back? Do their parents drive them to a new location?
- PRAISE THE LORD THE WATER KIDS ARE BACK! Image Source: CBS
- Alright, so I was told that this was a flat and downhill run, but now I think I was lied to. WHY ARE THERE HILLS?
- Nature is pretty cool!
- But seriously, is this a hike or a run?
- Are those . . . ORANGE SLICES? Oh my gosh bless you, small children. This is truly nectar of the gods.
- Why didn't I make a better playlist?!? THESE SONGS ARE NOT GETTING ME THROUGH THESE MILES.
- My lungs hurt. And my feet. And my legs. And my sides. Why did I do this?!
- Is there an option to end sooner? I've run the equivalent of a 15K, that counts. I'm gonna stop now.
- OK fine, I'll keep going. I heard there's Champagne at the finish line. Image Source: ABC
- In through the nose, out through the mouth. Just. Keep. Breathing.
- I can't believe I haven't puked yet . . . this is kind of amazing. MY BODY IS INCREDIBLE.
- Wait . . . there's only a mile left . . . !
- What if my lungs give out like right before the finish line and someone gets a photo of me dying before I even finish the race? That would be SO embarrassing. Image Source: Giphy
- Is it lame to walk through the finish line? OK, maybe. Just . . . keep . . . jogging . . . slowly . . .
- OMG THE FINISH LINE. I AM QUEEN OF RUNNING AND THE UNIVERSE Image Source: Summit
- Why are my legs still moving? The race is over! I can't stop my legs from moving where can I lie down and die.
- Wait OMG chocolate milk and bananas?! Feast of kings at my fingertips! What a cornucopia of blessings! Yes I'll have a water bottle!
- OK, now I'm ready to nap for 85 years. And mayyyybe sign up for another one of these races, now that I'm a legendary race machine. Image Source: Giphy
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